A wedding is the moment when a love story becomes something more, the moment when you truly savor the idea of having your partner by your side for a lifetime. It is also a solemn occasion, as it is the time when couples officially exchange their wedding vows. The vow is what truly seals the bond of love between the spouses, tying their lives together forever. It is a way to tell each other that they can and will always count on one another.
For this reason, beyond the traditional vows required by the ceremony, many couples choose to exchange more personal and intimate promises, written specifically for their unique love story. These personalized vows not only express eternal love but also reflect on the journey they have shared together. Often, these vows are read in front of family and friends during the ceremony or reception. They serve as a way for the newlyweds to offer a small glimpse into their life as a couple for everyone present.
In short, this is undoubtedly one of the most pivotal moments of any wedding, one that we never miss in our wedding videos. The palpable emotion of the couple and their guests creates the perfect backdrop, and this moment is often remembered, even years later, as one of the most powerful and heartfelt in their shared story. During our travels across Italy, we’ve witnessed countless vows from so many wonderful couples. Today, we want to take you into this world and provide a little guide to help you make your own vows truly unique and unforgettable. Are you ready?
Retracing Your Love Story
Reaching your wedding day means you’ve already traveled a significant part of your journey together, and it’s the perfect time to look back and appreciate it. One of the first steps in writing your wedding vows is exactly that: revisiting in your mind the path you’ve taken, the experiences you’ve shared, the places you’ve visited, and everything that, day by day, has made your relationship unique. Of course, this doesn’t mean simply listing things out; instead, think about some truly meaningful moments in your relationship and use these as the starting point to embark on an emotional journey through your love story.
Once you’ve identified these key moments, take a moment to fully immerse yourself in them: close your eyes and relive them, thinking about your partner. Why was that moment so special, and why was it even more beautiful with them by your side? Focusing on these feelings will help you understand what you truly love about your partner and what makes your relationship so unique. Try to put these emotions into words, emphasizing how what you share couldn’t be the same with anyone else.
You don’t need to be a poet or a great writer to do this: no one knows better than you what those moments felt like, and no one better than your partner will fully understand what you mean, having lived those beautiful experiences together. As we mentioned earlier, a wedding vow should be personal and tailored to reflect the journey you’ve shared, using it as a foundation to continue moving forward together, energized and more eager than ever to keep building your future side by side.
Read also: Emotions in Words: The Power of Wedding Speeches
Design Your Tomorrow
To truly renew your commitment to share a life together, it’s important not only to reflect on all the beautiful moments you’ve already experienced but also to focus on what you hope to create together as a married couple. In the future, when you watch your wedding video, you’ll want to remember not just the emotions of that day but also to see how many of your promises you’ve kept and which shared dreams you’ve brought to life. So, take a moment to think: what are your shared aspirations? What are the areas of your relationship you want to nurture and improve?
Don’t settle for clichés; use this moment to make a real promise! Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your flaws and commit to working on them for your partner’s sake. This honesty will not only be deeply appreciated by your partner but will also resonate with your guests, showing them that your love is genuine and not a façade of perfection. Dream big: where do you see yourselves in 10 years? What about 20? Alternate between practical goals and grand dreams in your vows, this will highlight how everything is possible for a couple like you and show how even your wildest dreams can come true.
And of course, don’t speak only from your perspective. These vows are also an opportunity to demonstrate the strength of your bond, showing that you share the same vision for your life together. Take your partner’s dreams and aspirations into account, and celebrate them in your promise. There’s nothing more beautiful than knowing that the person beside you truly understands you and shares your dreams. Above all, avoid being generic, that’s what the traditional vows are for! This is your uniquely personal promise, one that no one else could ever replicate because it’s written for your story alone. That’s what makes it so special. Let your imagination run free and write from the heart.
Structuring Your Vows
Now that you have a clearer idea of what to include in your vows, it’s time to structure them. First, consider the moment when you’ll be reciting them, this is crucial in determining how long they should be. Yes, it’s your special day, and yes, all the guests are there to celebrate you… but you definitely don’t want to bore them with a half-hour reading after a big lunch! Aim to condense your message into just a few lines, or at most, a single page. Keep it clear and concise, ensuring it’s meaningful rather than vague. Remember, this moment will be captured in your wedding video: every word should be carefully chosen and as impactful as possible!
Stay on topic and avoid excessive or unnecessary details. For example, if you’re referencing a past event, there’s no need to recount the entire story. Instead, include only the elements needed to convey your message, after all, your partner already knows that story well. It’s also essential to craft a strong introduction that sets the mood and tone for the rest of your vows. Make it engaging and original, avoiding clichés.
Perhaps even more important than the introduction is the conclusion. This is where you wrap up everything you’ve said, following an emotionally charged moment. A good idea for your conclusion might be to include a quote or a memorable line, something that leaves a lasting impression and is remembered by all the guests, especially your partner. This could serve as the essence of your relationship, a phrase that encapsulates the depth of your bond.
Questions to Inspire You
Staring at a blank page can feel daunting, but every journey starts somewhere! To help you get started, we’ve put together a series of questions designed to guide you inward and help you find the right words to express your love. The idea is simple: sit down with a notebook or at your computer and let these questions lead you on an introspective journey through your relationship. Don’t worry about being perfect or censoring yourself, what matters at this stage is honesty. Once you’ve answered these questions, don’t stress about structure.
Write freely and let your emotions flow. Later, like a tailor crafting a custom suit, review your notes and weave together the most meaningful moments to create a cohesive and heartfelt vow. Let these questions help you uncover the emotions and memories that make your love unique. Once you’ve explored these ideas, you’ll have the foundation to craft vows that are deeply personal, genuine, and unforgettable.
When did you first fall in love? Think back to the moment when you realized you were in love. Was it love at first sight, or did the feeling grow over time? Describe in detail what you felt, a smile, a glance, or a gesture that made you realize this person was truly special.
What qualities about your partner bring you joy every day? Reflect on the little things that make your partner unique. It could be their way of making you laugh, their ability to comfort you during tough times, or simply the way they look at you.
How do you envision your future together? Let your imagination run free. What are the dreams you share? A home, children, travels, or other life projects? Don’t just describe your goals, express the emotions these dreams evoke in you.
Have you faced challenges together? Couples are strengthened by adversity. Share a challenge you’ve faced and overcome as a team, and reflect on how it has made your relationship stronger.
What are the little everyday moments you cherish?
Sometimes love is found in the smallest details: a morning coffee, a walk, or spontaneous laughter. These seemingly ordinary moments often form the true essence of your relationship.
How has this relationship changed you?
Think about how your partner has helped you grow: maybe they’ve made you more patient, more confident, or more open. Briefly describe how their love has transformed you and made you a better person.
Read also: Don’t Book a Wedding Videographer Without Asking These 40 Questions!
The Right Tone: Serious, Romantic, or Fun?
Once you’ve decided on the content you want to include in your vows, it’s time to think about the form and tone you want to convey. Wedding vows are like a portrait of your relationship, they should reflect exactly who you are. There’s no universally right tone, but rather the one that best tells your story: if you’re a romantic couple, let yourself dive into poetic metaphors that capture the intensity of your feelings.
Think of images that evoke depth and tenderness, like a safe harbor to return to, a shared journey, or a song that unites or represents you. For couples who speak the language of humor, don’t be afraid to include those anecdotes that make you smile, an inside joke that cracks you up, or a funny moment that shows your complicity. The key is to make it feel as natural as possible. If you’re looking for balance, you can alternate moments of deep tenderness with lighthearted teasing, showing both the passion and the playfulness of your bond.
To give you an idea of what we mean: if you want to write a romantic vow, you might say something like “I promise to be the safe harbor you can always return to, even in the strongest storms.” Or, for a funnier vow, you could say “I promise not to watch ahead an episode of our favorite series… or at least to do it without telling you.” Whatever tone you choose, it should feel like an intimate conversation, as if you’re speaking only to your partner in front of all your guests. Don’t aim for literary perfection, but for the truth of your emotions. The most beautiful vow is the one that truly reflects who you are.
Revise and Perfect
During the writing of your vows, you’ll likely change your mind multiple times, think of new anecdotes, or come up with fresh phrases you want to include. The first draft is simply a rough outline, and the revision and editing phase might take as much time as the writing itself, and that’s perfectly fine. The more you read over it, over days and weeks, the more your vows will become truly unique. Start by reading the text out loud, as if you were delivering it in front of your partner, friends, and family. Listen to the rhythm of the words, pay attention to places where your voice might trip, or where the meaning feels less fluid.
Always try to imagine others listening to your speech. These moments of resistance are valuable indicators of where you might need to make adjustments. A great tip is to have someone you trust read your vows. A friend, the officiant, or a family member can provide an external perspective and spot nuances that your love-struck eyes might miss. But remember: their feedback is a suggestion, not a rule. The final voice should always be yours.
Simplicity is the ultimate art of communication. Eliminate repetition, streamline complex sentences, and strive for clarity. Every word should carry meaning, and each sentence must be essential to the story, without excess. It’s not about how elaborate you are, but how sincere you are. When reading your vows, always keep your eyes on your partner: a wedding vow should be a gift to them, not a monologue about yourself. One last tip: write your vows on paper, not in the notes of your phone (and if you do, copy them by hand afterward). Notes can always be lost, but a carefully stored piece of paper, maybe in your wedding album, will stay much safer!
Rehearsal: Get Comfortable with the Words
Your wedding vows are not a monologue to be recited, but a deeply connective moment that requires practice and awareness. Just like an actor rehearses their monologue, you too need to train yourself to express your feelings naturally and intensely. Start by standing in front of a mirror, your first ally in the preparation process. Observe your movements and facial expressions as you read. Notice how your voice changes, where emotion tightens, and where you need to slow down or speed up the rhythm. The mirror gives you immediate feedback on how you look when sharing your deepest emotions.
If possible, try to memorize the vows so you can truly savor every emotion you stir in your partner. In this stage, audio recordings can be very helpful: listening to yourself allows you to catch nuances you might miss while reading. Pay attention to intonation, speed, and pauses. These details will turn a written text into an emotional experience (if your voice quivers, your listeners will most likely feel the same). If you’d like, you can also record practice videos simulating the wedding environment. If possible, get a microphone and rehearse in a space that resembles your ceremony setting.
Learn to project your voice, maintaining a steady intensity while speaking clearly and avoiding mumbling or lowering your voice too much. Eye contact is crucial: during rehearsals, imagine your partner standing before you. Don’t just read the vows like a script, use the text as a guide to look them in the eye and communicate beyond the words. Emotion also travels through a gaze. After all, emotions are the true protagonists of this moment, so don’t be embarrassed if your voice cracks or your eyes fill with tears. These are signs of authenticity, proof of a deep love that transcends formal communication.
Capturing the Moment with Wedding Videography
Wedding vows are much more than a simple exchange of words: they are the very essence of your bond, a bond that is about to take on a new, eternal form through those words. In this pivotal moment, recording every word and embedding it in your wedding video is the greatest gift you can give yourselves as a couple. It’s a timeless gift, one that grows in value each day and will eventually become priceless. At Thirtyfive Studios, we place immense value on wedding vows, ensuring they are captured with the best possible sound quality.
We use high-precision microphones to catch every nuance of your voice because it’s often the vows that accompany the most significant moments in the storytelling of your video. Another crucial element in capturing these moments is having two videographers to cover the scene, creating a shot/reverse shot. On one side, the person making the vows, and on the other, the partner or guests listening, deeply moved. The eyes filled with tears, the suppressed smiles, the gestures of tenderness, these are the visual elements that make your wedding video unique and emotional. These are the moments you’ll want to carry with you forever.
Over time, this video will become a family treasure, something the couple will watch during moments of nostalgia and something that children and grandchildren will admire to understand the depth of the love story. It’s a precious document that transcends time, telling a love story in its purest and most authentic form. Choosing your videographer is, therefore, an investment in memories. Don’t just look for a technically skilled professional, but someone who is sensitive, capable of understanding and capturing the essence of your emotions. Because wedding vows are not just words, they are the roots of a love that will continue to live and blossom forever.
The Lasting Value of Your Wedding Vows
The exchange of vows represents much more than just a ceremonial moment: it’s an authentic portrait of the essence of the newlyweds and their relationship. In this magical moment, the threads of the past – with all the shared memories, experiences, and emotions – intertwine with those of the future, rich with dreams, hopes, and projects to be realized together. It’s a symbolic bridge between what has been and what will be, a moment when two people publicly declare not only their love but also their shared vision of life, a moment that will remain imprinted not only in photographs and videos but especially in the hearts of all those present, as tangible testimony to your love and mutual commitment.
We perfectly understand the anxiety and concerns that may accompany the preparation of such a significant moment. The desire to find the right words, to move others without being too sentimental, to be authentic while maintaining the elegance of the moment – these are all natural feelings that almost every couple of future spouses experiences. However, it’s important to remember that the beauty of the vows lies precisely in their sincerity and in how perfectly they represent the couple pronouncing them.
We encourage you to see the preparation of the vows as a precious opportunity to grow together. Be open in your discussions, share your ideas and expectations, perhaps by reading and commenting on this guide together. This shared creation process can become one of the sweetest memories of your journey to the altar. Not only will you be able to align the tone and style of your vows, but most importantly, you’ll have the opportunity to reflect deeply on the meaning of your bond and the future you wish to build together.
